I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
