Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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