what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize