i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I look better un-naked...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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