yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
