i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
