I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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