butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
