Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
