Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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