stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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