I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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