The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
