Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize