what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
