dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
