just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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