There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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