Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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