Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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