This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
