dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
