she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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