I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
