we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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