just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
