This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
