just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
