My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
