her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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