in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
