Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
