you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
