I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Randomize
