Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
