Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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