get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize