i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
