well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
