Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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