so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize