using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
