i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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