it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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