Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
