dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
then he tried to convert me to islam
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
