I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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