so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
