I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
