The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize