He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
