make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
