Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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