i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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