id be glad to
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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