Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize