Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
