I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
