So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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