Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
