Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
